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Showing posts with the label epic saga

Bedford Stuyvesant Brooklyn Brownstone Cellar Saga

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If, while rooting through the unconscious cellar of your soul, In order to expand your conscious awareness, And to relieve your self of the burdens of your childhood (for example), And if you happen to come across a very, very big obstacle, well, Some things are better off buried, so just dig down another few feet. Jan with a shovel attempts to remove one ton boulders from just beneath the cellar surface Brownstone Cellar Excavation -- Tons of Boulders! Brooklyn Bedford Stuyvesant Cellar revision near the Olde Coal Shoot

An Epic Saga of Serious Workers Reconstructing a Small Shed: in Four Movements

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Excited and happy workers planning reconstruction of small shed. Workers Looking Forward Busy workers happily begin reconstructing Happy Workers Reconstructing Ladder-sitting reconstructor finishing up Happy Worker Finishing Up Workers contemplating small shed reconstruction results Workers Contemplating
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Ladies and Gentlemen!!!  Announcing, Announcing! There appears to be a serious Shark Threat near Cubicle 2278! Our security cameras seem to be focusing onto the almost-always-invisible Office Shark! As we all know, only when Shark is severely hungry, lonely or anxious for a victim does it become at all visible. Nevertheless, Shark appears to be resting quietly in the hall. ...Uh oh...Quiet now, don't make even a simple electronic sound. Leave all bits alone! Wait! What's going on here? Shark is sniffing at the cubicles. Oh My Gosh! Thank goodness we empty the building at 10:00 o'clock.  What??? The Office Empty Checker is ill? Oh my Heavens! Shark has figured out how to open the cubicle door. That's impossible! Aren't they all locked for the night? I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME. SO THE CHECKER IS ILL! IS THAT AN EXCUSE OR WHAT? Stay Calm everybody.  It looks as though there is nobody in the cubicle,  Oh thank you, Spirit Winds, the office is

Escaped Suicidal Snowperson -- Beware!

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This fascinating creature is a prime example of how anima arises spontaneously within matter that has been organized. Many of us (we scholars) talk of self-organizing systems, but such systems are not as easily arranged as they sound. However, the much more unusual phenomena is the purposely organized animated system . Indeed, our researchers-at-large, in a secret laboratory hidden in an abandoned coalmine in Northeastern Pennsylvania, have manged to infuse this snowy creature with animism. Sadly, the creature became so animated that he or she has fled the facility, and is exhibiting serious mental health issues! This cell phone photo was taken by an automobile driver cruising by. Should you catch sight of this animated being, contact us immediately.  We will send a refrigerated truck. Desperate Snowperson -- Pensylvania  (photo be brave person's relative  and donated by Christian) ** Similar words: arouse, awake, awaken, raise, rouse, stir, wake (up); acti

A newborn Day with a Ponderosa

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I'm scampering along in the early morning, sniffing a blade here and a pebble there, crossing over dead needles, and—oh! that amazing smell of needle green backed by the broken twig leftover from last year-- the dry pine needles, red and rich in the morning wet. Those new-day chance encounters. I’m sure it’s right here I turn left. No, right. I just get those two mixed up for some reason. It could be because I have these feet and tail and things. In my recent past life as we know, I only had two feet (and of course I didn’t have a tail, which was a disappointment). But this multi-footed situation is much better than that time I was an earthworm! Boy! Which hand is left? Left foot? Are you joking or what? Anyway, I’m sure it’s here I go right for a while until I reach the turnoff at the balding root. I usually stop there and dig around for a nut I lost track of. I am just perplexed why I don’t exactly know where they are! It hasn’t been that long. Well, I guess I ou

Illegally Parked Tree Saved by Bystander

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Through little fault of it's own, El Innocente, an otherwise law-abiding tree, is seriously illegally parked.  El Innocente is not only within a few feet of a Fire Hydrant, but it is also in a clearly marked No Parking Zone.  Thank Goodness our Bystander arrived in time! Several parking tickets had already been attached by the Authorities in the Department, but El Innocente was unable to pay them.  As our hero arrived on the scene, an Official was already attaching the Tow!  We all know what the Department does with Towed Trees --  well, I don't even want to talk about it. Thankfully, Bystander was allowed to pay the outstanding tickets and to establish the El Innocente Ticket Paying Trust in Perpetuum Fidite. We are all  exceedingly grateful. Tree parked illegally on Park Avenue and 94h Street

While Minding My Own Business,

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I was traveling along in my mind the other day, searching for a random thought about a certain something, when I came across an outcrop. Not in my mind, no, but an actual outcrop from a hill. Sitting on the outcrop, believe it or not, was a small practically transparent Pherosa. It may seem odd, since there are so few Pherosas around, but when you see an unusual something sitting on an outcrop that is practically transparent, well. That is exactly what will come to mind. “Can I help you?” It said, and come to think of it I did need a little help with a lot of things. For one, I was concerned about what to do with the rest of my life, and so I asked its name. “Pherosina", said the Pherosa. "Rosey for short.”  “Do you ever wonder what life is all about?” I asked. “Not since I gave up wondering about death”, said Rosey. I had a leaf last year, a leaf on a tiny stem, born that spring, it was a wrinkled little thing (said Rosey). It spread itself and found its lobes

Innocent Snow Being Heading Toward--Oh My Gosh! It's a.... a ... a ... a......

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Snow Being goes by many names:  Little Foot, since she or he leaves no trace; Snow Drop, since he or she appears only when snowflakes stick to the Earth just so; Fare-Thee-Well, since perfection is its natural state.  Nobody knows where Snow dwells, although there are those who say there is a darkened burrow near an unknown station in a tunnel of the IRT.  The scary, wide-eyed snow being is seldom seen, and often considered to be a myth.  Nobody knows the temperament of Snow; nobody interferes; nobody photographs, nobody records for fear of ramifications.  However, as we know, absolutely nothing, can deter our fearless and sensitive photographer from the action scene--not snow, not cold, not a scary situation.  Hark!   Sensing danger, our Brave Photographer rushes outside, and Lo! There is Snow Being, creeping with perplexity toward a dark, round something in the road.  Our photographer, confused by Snow's hesitation, looks carefully.  There, in the middle of the snow-lined tra

Donating My Piano: An Epic Saga of Circumstance

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I am re-doing my apartment, and my piano is very big.   It’s an old Sohmer upright from I believe 1918.    So I decided to donate it to Housing Works, a charity for AIDS-related things.  Housing Works takes pianos in good condition, but they only move them down two steps, not four, and my stoop is four steps high.   I have a contractor who is fixing up my apartment, who agreed to get a couple of guys to move the piano down to the sidewalk.   In my defense, I told them it was a Big Piano.     I cried over it for a little while, and then the three guys showed up to move it.   My job was to guard the truck parked in front of a fire hydrant down the street and to drive it around the block if needed.   I was watching the action through the rear view mirror.   I saw the piano emerge from the building and hover over the steps; it looked shaky; it was verging on a 45 degree angle; I decided not to watch.    In a few minutes I looked back and it was on its way across the sidewalk.   I did

Perplexed Individuals Explore the Cloud

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Everyone is talking about the Cloud: the iCloud, the Virtual Cloud, Syncing with the Cloud, so  it seemed  useful to fund a cloud hunting expedition.  And there it was! Cloud City!  Right here in New York City on the Roof of the Metropolitan. What an opportunity to clarify the ineffable! To become technologically explicable! Explorer studies the Cloud Technological Explorer Searching for the Effable (captured by the expedition photographer)

Help Help, Killers! Killers!

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The warnings are appearing everywhere on the news --Warning! Warning! Killer Balloons! Killer Balloons! And on twitter --wrng, wrng, kllr bllns, kllr bllns— No, not billions u stupid person! Balloons! Attention all available hands! Search everywhere: stairwells, closets, file cabinets, offices— Wait! Is that a color showing in an office? Throw open that door! OhMyGosh! Help, Help! A Pace University Person is concentrating!   No, not just concentrating, Working! The entire office is filling up with balloons!   Oh No, they are sneaking up!   How did they get past the guards?    Call Balloon Busters, NOW! RUN!!!

Flung From Axon to Dendrite: on the nature of change

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Hop on, said the axon we'll find us a dendrite in no time. Hesitating, I climbed abroad  the whitish gluey tentacle.  Sticky it was, no need to hang on. I found myself crawling easily along the slippery center track,  toward the glittery end. I felt quite confident as I learnt to balance among the whiskery filaments. As I drew closer  to the narrow tip, I thought perhaps I ought to reconsider. I tried to slow down, and the strand began to oscillate and whip!  I held on as tightly as I could, but there was no hope.  I made a last grasp for a filament, and Thwang!  I was cast out into the sprinkling starlit space, tumbling and turning like a helpless asteroid.   My mind became a blank.  My life passed before my eyes and disappeared completely! What was happening?  The starlit sprinkles began to thin, and for a time I was suspended in a midnight vacuum blue. As though in a dream, the emptiness began to fill, one shimmer at a time.  My eyes woke up and there in the far distanc

Innocent Prison-Building: Friday the 13th

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It was an odd sort of feeling in the air that day, A crackle and a nip and so-you-say, Then all of a sudden there appeared at my right, A prison-like building, and try as I might,  I could not recall seeing that building before, With its fires and its bars and the black double door. The lights began to flicker on and off—it was a code! I was certain it was beckoning to me, so I slowed-- It was then I heard the creaking and I saw the eye-like brass-- The double door cracked open and revealed a rasping mass— It began to slink and slither out the bottom of the crack; I was pinned to the sidewalk, afraid to turn my back! I covered my eyes, and when I opened them the mass Had disappeared completely and the brass was just brass! The door was closing quickly, but something seemed screwy-- A form was on the landing that was furry, black and mewy. Well I guess you know by now it was a messy little cat, It turned around to look at me and then it just sat! Nevertheless, the other day I went b

Alien Attempts to Read a Book

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"Help!  Help! Help!  Is this the Interstellar Police?"  .... "A Translucent, cone-headed alien is attempting to sneak through our window and read a book!"  .... "Yes, a realbook!"  ....   "I don't know why it doesn't get it online.   How would I know?" Surveillance at Local Library

Greywacke Arch, the Real Story

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Attention! Danger!  Misty Extracto Zone!  Beware of Greywake Arch!   Officially this arch is named for the variety of Hudson Valley sandstone with which it is built, but this is a completely uninformed reading of the term Wacke!  Look at the etymology...   Wacke  noun 1. a kind of rock, boulder This is as far as the official definition goes. However, Wacke is ( alternative spelling of ) 2. Wacky. And, Wacke is from Old High German waggo or wacko, probably cognate with Old High German wegan "to move" ! The Terrifying Truth is that we have a Grey Wacko Arch that causes things to not only Move but to slowly Disappear into one of the few remaining Misty Extracto Zones! Look carefully at the photo.  See those two innocent fuzzy=edged dogs?    A few more trips under the arch, and the poor owner will emerge with two empty leashes. Thank goodness we discovered it in time.

Inside Out

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Have you ever wanted to be inside out?  I have. I’d like to be a free lady of the wind and seasons.  I’d like to be a woman of the late night places  where passion breathing stars spit out virtue,  red and dwarfed. I’d like to hear the naked beauty of desire fed into the wheat fields. I’d like to chip into a mortared brick and wait out the morning.  I’d like to be born with a sweet flame and a silken web. No more ancient, aging, ailing outer-facing rind,  wasting with hope. Scrape away the tired shadow mask at last. Escape the weeping cellar full of old bones pushing through the riven boards let’s have one more sacred candied day, a final ritzy season. Frosted with that inside story I kept so quietly mine.

Warning! Seductive Suicide Puddle! [Staff Photographer Rachel]

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Warning!  Warning!  Suicide Puddle Ahead! by Staff puddle finder At approximately 4:22 this afternoon we received a report that a possible Suicide Puddle had been cited near the bridle path underpass directly down from the South Reservoir Pump Station.  Upon investigation it was determined that the requisite Suicide Puddle elements had indeed conflued.  Not only was this puddle Suicidistic but it was also a Seducing Puddle, designed to lure admirers into it's sphere.  A warning cone was placed to mark the spot for pedestrians and moving vehicles such as autos.    Only moments later our Staff Puddle Finder found a woman at the puddle's edge, captivated.  Armed personnel were called, and a rescue was executed.  The woman's identity is obscured using advanced photo technology.     Seductive Suicide Puddle

A Memory Scape

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I had an apple tree with a white painted trunk And grass as green as the dog could make it Round patches of it six inches high We hid eggs in the centre where the yellow was. It was a late blooming tree with the sweetest apples Crisp bite, tart smelling, clear sap Cool tongue, red with life. How I loved the summer rain And clothes lines wet with sheets My chest aches for the dazzle of it My gut warms with resonance My throat gasps for the fragrance of it. It was a hard winter the year they took our apple tree Ice and whiteout blizzards Warnings on the radio Skidding spinning tires Sliding downhill sideways. There's  many seasons past by now Since that harsh winter cut us down Yet the roots still lay there buried deep. The other day I came upon a  tucked and folded memory Clouded now and jumbled but I'm certain that I chanced to see A newly budded apple tree  April 2010, North East Reservoir Path 

time Juxtaposed

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I know a lot more than I’m telling you about the nature of things. How this strafing life chills red blood How the days push each other out of reach How the nightly terrors come too soon. Here the sharp snap of frozen twigs? Hear the frosted grasses crunching? Here the hissing logs burning with sap? Bring up the bricks from the fire, for the night is a chilly one Full of iced buckets and dying embers. Now it’s time to reminisce About the whistle and the wishes Do you recall those candied kisses We, unable to resist In the early morning mist? Young Squirrel in the Early Morning Sun 

A Picture in the Attic

I’ve a picture In my mind of an ancient room There’s a streak of red dawn through the iron window panes. I sit among the peas and string beans wanting apples. Oh for a red and yellow apple! Sweet, running with sap, running barefoot. I am not a gentle lady I am proud to say it. It could have been a morning peach amid the mourning doves. It could have been a warming bowl with cool milk and hot oats. It could have been the midday sunny harvest dust (and him). I’s green now, green with peas and roasting chickens, I have a picture though. In the attic of my mind (I'm experimenting.......)