Warning! Seductive Suicide Puddle! [Staff Photographer Rachel]
Warning! Warning! Suicide Puddle Ahead!
by Staff puddle finder
At approximately 4:22 this afternoon we received a report that a possible Suicide Puddle had been cited near the bridle path underpass directly down from the South Reservoir Pump Station. Upon investigation it was determined that the requisite Suicide Puddle elements had indeed conflued. Not only was this puddle Suicidistic but it was also a Seducing Puddle, designed to lure admirers into it's sphere. A warning cone was placed to mark the spot for pedestrians and moving vehicles such as autos.
Only moments later our Staff Puddle Finder found a woman at the puddle's edge, captivated. Armed personnel were called, and a rescue was executed. The woman's identity is obscured using advanced photo technology.
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| Seductive Suicide Puddle |
